Sunday, August 21, 2011

Availability and Reliability



Availability -
1. Present and ready for use; at hand; accessible
2. Capable of being gotten; obtainable
3. Qualified and willing to serve or assist

Reliability -
1. Capable of being relied on; dependable

Availability and reliability are important, both in business and in friendship. As many learn with their first job, their first friendship, or their first romantic relationship, in order for any of these relationships to be successful one has to be both available and reliable. After all, there are plenty of flaky people in the world, but who honestly wants to attempt to make a solid friendship with someone who is rarely, if ever, available when you need them? And when in a related work situation, lacking both of these traits could easily get you terminated.

Availability and Reliability are two things I really need to work on in my personal life. In work situations I always attempt to be punctual and I'm almost always reliable, and in the rare instances that I'm not I go out of my way to correct the problem. However, in my personal life I'm a bit of a slacker. I always have plenty excuses, like being exhausted after work or being busy with -insert activity-, but really it's just laziness. I mean, it doesn't exactly take a lot of effort to pick up the phone and call someone, or post a random blog post to my blog just to keep it alive and the conversation going.

But for some reason I'm actually more apt to procrastinate in my personal life than in my professional life. Now some might suggest, given the two, that procrastinating in my personal life is better than procrastinating in my professional life, but I disagree. Sure, being on top of the job is great, but it's also just as important to maintain steady contact with friends, both in real life and online. After all, no one likes to feel ignored, and those of us who have been ignored by our alleged friends tend to feel a bit...sore about it, so to speak. The purpose of being friends with someone, in any capacity, is to support them and to be supported by them, otherwise you could just be acquaintances and leave it at that. If you're attempting to be, or are, friends with someone, you're no less than abusing that friendship when you can't be counted on.

So, yeah, I'm working on being more reliable and more available, because being flaky is bad for both my relationships and myself. I just wish there were more hours in the day!


9 comments:

  1. This is interesting. People usually think a person can be reliable or unreliable, but it's possible to be different in work than in personal life. I know I am. I am sorry to say I am more reliable and available in work than with my friends, which is embarrassing.

    The truth is, I prefer my friends to work (obviously), but sometimes I lack the skills. I get tired and not in the mood, and I really don't want to bother people with my presence in those situations. Also, when I have a problem, or when I'm anxious, I tend to "disappear". I don't feel like blogging, I don't feel like meeting friends, etc. Which is a bad thing, because friends can make you feel better.

    I guess we both have to work on this.

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  2. Yeah, it sounds like it. But then again, maybe what we do is the best way for us to cope. I know that I can be something of a grump when I'm hanging out with friends and don't feel like it.

    In a way I think it all comes down to finding that middle ground that allows someone "me" time, but at the same time doesn't alienate those around them. And I think that's a difficult balance to find.

    As it concerns work, well one has to eat and I'm pretty sure my friends don't want me mooching off of them everyday. :P

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  3. Well, I just hate to be grumpy and anxious and depressing around my friends. I always think they will have a bad time. Plus, it requires a lot of strenght and will to socialize with people in this condition (and it's always difficult for me to socialize, let alone when I'm feeling bad).

    All I want is to disappear and do stupid, pointless things, like watching silly movies without artistic merit.

    On the other hand, socializing can be helpful. True friends won't mind that you're not in the mood. Friends can make you feel better. They can make you forget about the problems at least for a little while. If only I could make myself socialize when I'm not in the mood.

    Still, my escapism of choice rarely involves people. I write. That's what helps me the most.

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  4. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it's all I can do just to call someone up, especially when I'm at a really low point. And I can definitely get down with a silly movie, with my personal favorite either being Friday or Kung Pow.

    On the other hand, socializing can be helpful. True friends won't mind that you're not in the mood. Friends can make you feel better. They can make you forget about the problems at least for a little while. If only I could make myself socialize when I'm not in the mood.

    Still, my escapism of choice rarely involves people. I write. That's what helps me the most.


    In truth, while hanging out can be great, I definitely feel that some of us just are "people persons" like that. Sure, I like to hangout, and hanging out can even make me feel better when I feel like crap. However, I know I've got a "people limit", if you will, and if I exceed that limit then I start to get even more irritable.

    And this is one of the reasons why I envy your ability to lose yourself in your writing. Somehow I can never seem to block out the world around me and actually fully enjoy my writing.

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  5. In truth, while hanging out can be great, I definitely feel that some of us just are "people persons" like that.

    I agree. I consider myself a friendly person, but I can't be around people all day. It's exhausting, and I never know what to say. It just requires way too much energy.

    And this is one of the reasons why I envy your ability to lose yourself in your writing. Somehow I can never seem to block out the world around me and actually fully enjoy my writing.

    I don't know how I do it. But it's always been like that with me. Well, since I was 11 or so. Writing sure helped me in some bad moments, and I'm not talking about personal moments, but general bad things (and 90s in my country were crazy, in a bad way). Plus, I was a lonely girl most of the other kids found annoying, so it didn't help. I had one friend and I spent a lot of time with her. I didn't really learn to socialize. That's why I'm still nervous around people, I think.

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  6. I don't know how I do it. But it's always been like that with me. Well, since I was 11 or so. Writing sure helped me in some bad moments, and I'm not talking about personal moments, but general bad things (and 90s in my country were crazy, in a bad way). Plus, I was a lonely girl most of the other kids found annoying, so it didn't help. I had one friend and I spent a lot of time with her. I didn't really learn to socialize. That's why I'm still nervous around people, I think.

    Well then I'd definitely say you have a really talent for it; it takes a lot not to get distracted by the craziness around you, and I'm sure the craziness you dealt with went way beyond normal dysfunction. Also, wow, and I thought I had it bad. At least the other kids just ignored me, I can't imagine what it was like when they actually found you annoying (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that they didn't just leave you alone like anyone with common sense would and should have).

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  7. Well then I'd definitely say you have a really talent for it; it takes a lot not to get distracted by the craziness around you, and I'm sure the craziness you dealt with went way beyond normal dysfunction.

    Well, you are right about craziness, and I guess it makes me motivated to write.

    Still, the funny thing is, this craziness is a norm here, so you don't really know what is like without it. What I'm saying is, I was a teen in the 90s, and that time was pretty bad for my part of the world. Plus, I had some personal troubles (the death of my father, or being harassed by other kids). Only now I realize how bad it was.

    But during those days, I guess I didn't realize how bad it was; you don't get to choose your location or time period, or your family conditions. It was the only thing I knew about, so my worries when I was a teen were pretty usual ones, like being sad because guys weren't interested in me/didn't ask me out.

    At least the other kids just ignored me, I can't imagine what it was like when they actually found you annoying (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that they didn't just leave you alone like anyone with common sense would and should have).

    That's right. It was bad. I was harassed, but it was more on the verbal side and "let's isolate/ignore/ridicule" her than the physical side. Though people did attack me physically a few times.

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  8. Jebus, I'm just blown away by all the crap you've had to deal with. Sick and wrong doesn't even begin to describe it, but then again I've known for years that kids and teenagers can be some of the cruelest people on earth.

    Still, that really sucks. :(

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  9. Yes, teens can be cruel. But for some reason, you don't realize how twisted and bad all of that is while it's happening. I mean, you do feel horrible, but it's the only life you know of; you don't know how it should be on what is normal.

    Only later you realize how bad some things were.

    Plus, I believe teens have some sort of protection against drama. They can fight with their parents and peers whole day, they can suffer from bullying and cry whole day... And somehow, they'll still have some strength.

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